Why Fun Matters

I recently ran into the father of two boys I used to coach at RHLL at a High School sport's banquet (his oldest was nominated for athlete of the year and is graduating in a few days) and we, of course, spent some time reminiscing about Little League.

It's always enjoyable for me to catch up with parents I haven't seen in years and to hear how their boys are doing, whether or not they're still playing ball.
What's truly fascinating though is that, without fail, 100% of parents I talk to a few years after their kids have graduated from Little League have two realizations about youth sports:
1) That the years spent on various fields with their kids were truly, truly special.
2) They see how silly it was to take it SO seriously and they wish they had put more emphasis on enjoying the experience rather than winning King of the Hill, jockeying for a spot on All-Stars, or whatnot.
They say hindsight is 20-20, and I know when you're IN Little League how difficult it is to have any perspective and be always mindful of the fact that these are simple "kids playing a game."   But we have to try.
Imagine, for a moment, if parents took watching their son play Monopoly (kids playing a game) as seriously as they take watching their son play a baseball (also kids playing a game).  Who wins any given Little League game or soccer tournament carries as much importance, in big picture, as who wins at Monopoly.  It simply doesn't matter nearly as much as most parents think it does.
Don't get me wrong, Little League and youth sports "matter."  I firmly believe there is no better mechanism to teach life lessons than sports, and that's why I am a coach.  Learning how to be on a team, to set and achieve goals, to work hard, and to learn to focus on the process and not the result are essential life skills, and spots help teach young athletes these virtues better than anything.
So yes, sports is a crucial part of developing hard working and productive citizens.  But most of all, it's meant to be fun.
Baseball is game.  Soccer is a game.  Lacrosse is a game.  Softball is game.   Games are supposed to be fun - that's why we play them.
While I love catching up with old Spring Training parents, I'm always get a little sad when they realize, often too late, how much MORE fun Little League could have been if they all took it a little less seriously.
So what does this have to do with the title of this blog?
Well, first I think it's important to keep everything we do in youth sports in perspective.  I believe we only have two goals as parents and coaches: to teach the life skills I just mentioned, and to make sure the kids have fun.  That's it.
Winning championship is nice, but should not define the value or measure the success of the Little League, AYSO, or lacrosse season.
Kids play sports to have fun with their friends.
Too often, parents coach in order to win.
But here's the thing, players and teams perform better when they're relaxed and having fun - at all levels of the game.
So by making sure our double-goal coaching philosophy includes fun, we're creating a better experience for our kids WHILE giving our teams a better chance of winning ballgames.  Seems win/win to me!
Here's what the parent I was speaking to at the banquet said that really stuck with me about his son's high school baseball experience: "I really just wish they had made it more fun."
I might be too late for him, but it's not t0o late for us...
So with FUN FUN FUN in mind...IT'S TIME FOR SUMMER CAMP!!!!!!
- Dan

One Reply to “Why Fun Matters”

Al Sears

Hi Dan,

This is a great post; I think that you’ve “hit the nail on the head.” Have you read “Just Let the Kids Play” by Bob Bigelow, et al? It’s a great book that has really influenced my thinking. Both you and the author make many of the same points, and you make them well.

Keep up the good work.

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